How To Have A Friend And Be A Friend

It’s a long title, I know. But the point is that true friendship works both ways.

Of course, there are casual friends or acquaintances. They’re important and add variety to our lives; however, we also need close friends, people who know us well and love us anyway.  

Mutual Interests

People can enjoy being together if they agree on things (Amos 3:3). That’s why I enjoy my Christian friends. They understand my scriptural choices and I theirs. We also enjoy places to eat, entertainment, and topics of conversation. I no longer live near a long-time friend, but our telephone conversations still cover these basic areas of interest.   

Encouragement and Understanding

Understanding is a fountain of life, pleasant words are sweet to the soul and bring healing to our bodies (Proverbs 16:22, 24). When I was in a care center after hip surgery, days and nights seemed endless. But kind words and encouragement from friends helped me keep focused on my recovery.

Truthful Communication

It’s good to have someone who can help us face the truth (Proverbs 27:6); however, wise friends do it in such a way as not to crush our spirit (Proverbs 15:4). Remember, life and death are both in the power of the tongue! (Proverbs 18:21)

Help When Needed

We’re not to be concerned only with our own interests, but also the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). An example for me was a friend who volunteered to stay in my guest room and help me the first two weeks I was home from hip surgery. On the flip side, I scheduled other friends to stay with me each afternoon to give her a break.

Take No Offense

A true friend loves at all times (Proverbs 17:17), but misunderstandings do happen. We are to forgive and bear with one another (Colossians 3:13), but let’s get real. If it’s something you can’t overlook, then talk it over.

Friendships are important to our health. Don’t isolate. Sometimes, when I feel extremely lonely, I’m grateful I can pick up my phone and call a friend.   

Pixabay:

I'm Not You

I’m not you, and you’re not me. Thank God we are not all alike. What a boring world that would be!

You would not want me to be your tailor! Neither would you want me to cut and style your hair, or bake your wedding cake! But if you’d like someone to read out loud to your kids, or teach them how to read, I’m your gal. I had teacher training.

God’s wisdom and creativity brought variety into this world. We enjoy it not only in the animal and plant kingdoms, but in humans as well.

We have different temperaments, gifts, abilities, mental capacities, and interests. Some of these are genetic, others develop from the families or even the countries into which we are born.

For example, France is known for its culinary schools, Australia for its sheep, and Argentina for its beef. So, we might see more chefs, sheep shearers, and ranchers in those places.

One person is no better than the other. Each of us has a place to fulfill, and we should appreciate and enjoy one another’s skills.

Don’t discount what you can do. A lady in one of our churches was known as “the cake lady.” She brought joy by remembering people’s birthdays with a cake. Another retired lady enjoyed taking to appointments those who could no longer drive. A woodworker created small crosses with JESUS beautifully carved in them.

In his wisdom, Solomon recognized a need for various skills. While requesting cedar and cypress logs from Lebanon to build the temple, he told King Hiram he would pay wages. Why? He said no one in Israel was as skilled in logging as the Sidonians. (I Kings 5:6).

Later, King Solomon built a fleet of ships. Once again, Hiram helped by sending seamen who knew the sea to help Solomon’s servants. (I Kings 9:26-27)

Have you thanked God for variety? Take a moment now to think of the interests, abilities, and skills you enjoy in your family and friends.

The old saying is, “Variety is the spice of life.” I, for one, say, "Thank God for that!"

 Pixabay:

 

What Love Is (Part 2 of 2)

As promised, this week we’re looking at what love is NOT! We’re still comparing 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 in the **New Living Translation (NLT) and ***The Message(MSG).

 WHAT LOVE IS NOT!

1. Jealous: doesn't want what it doesn't have
2. Boastful or proud: doesn't strut; doesn't have a swollen head
3. Rude: doesn't force itself on others
4. Does not demand its own way: isn't always "me first"
5. Irritable: doesn't fly off the handle (in anger)
6. Keeps no record of being wronged: doesn't keep score on sins of others
7. Doesn't rejoice about injustice: doesn't revel when others grovel

Did anything pop out for your special consideration? It’s good to take a personal inventory from time to time.

The Bible says LOVE will last forever. 

That’s why it’s worthy of your serious consideration and application in all your relationships.

TWO CLOSING THOUGHTS:

(1)  Remember, you can do an easy comparison of various translations if you have a Bible App. I recommend reading I Corinthians 13:4-8 in the Amplified Version of the Bible. (There are several Bible apps; I use YouVersion.)

(2)  Each week, I share a Featured Post, something I’ve previously written on the same topic. Look to the right of the website email version. Cell phone readers can go to the bottom and click on “See Web Version.”

**Scriptures marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible New Living Translation; copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

***Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE; Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by Permission of NavPress Publishers Group.

 Pixabay: Love, Heart, Paper; stux. 

What Love Is (Part 1 of 2)

Songs can be meaningful and long-lasting. Burt Bacharach wrote meaningful lyrics to a song in 1965 that was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 2008. It starts this way:

 *What the world needs now Is love sweet love

It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of 

It goes on to say this love is not just for some but for everyone. I love this upbeat song, but what kind of love are we talking about?

If it’s for everyone, we’re not just talking about romantic love, but something basic to all relationships.

I think that love is described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. This week, let’s consider what love is by comparing the **New Living Translation (NLT) and ***The Message:

LOVE IS:       1.  Patient; never gives up

                    2.  Kind; cares more for others than self

                    3.  Rejoices whenever truth wins out; takes pleasure in the                                       flowering of truth

                    4.  Love never gives up; puts up with anything

                    5.  Never loses faith; trusts God always

                    6.  Is always hopeful; always looks for the best

                    7.  Endures through every circumstance; never looks back

I also enjoyed reading 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 in the Amplified Bible, but it was too much to share here.

You can do an easy comparison of various translations if you have a Bible App on your phone. There are several. (I use the YouVersion.)

This week keep in mind what love IS! Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10. Are there areas where you need to be more loving?

Next week we’ll share what love IS NOT!   

*Lyrics: What the World Needs Now; Google, Ai mode.

**Scriptures marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible New Living Translation; copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by Permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

***Scriptures taken from THE MESSAGE; Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by Permission of NavPress Publishers Group.

*Pixabay:  Love, Romantic, Couple: Pepitasandpepit...

One Special Day

God hears and answers prayer. I know because He’s answered many prayers in my lifetime. But I have one daily request: “God, please put me in the right place at the right time today, whether I’m home or out and about.”  

Here’s how God answered that prayer one day this week.

As I was getting ready to run errands I started to tuck my cell phone in my purse. But I noticed a text message. A friend needed a ride. Could I help?

I called and said, “Good timing! I was just getting ready to leave. What do you need?”

I knew she had a son in hospice care in a city two hours away, but as his fiduciary, she was on a timeline to mail yearly reports. We decided to run her errands, then one of mine, and lunch would be later.

After her second errand, I had to admit I was very hungry. She was too, so we agreed on a favorite quick spot.  Over lunch, she said, “My son is not doing well. I wouldn’t be surprised if he passes away before the doctor’s three-month deadline.”

Shortly after, her phone rang. Her son had passed away, and that meant a lot of quick changes in her day. I said, “My errands can wait. I want to be sure you get these papers in the mail, and I’ll take you to the shuttle when you’re ready to go.”

At the end of the day, I gave thanks to God for answering my simple prayer.  It was such a good feeling to have been free to help her.

You see it was a day I could be flexible; my errands were not pressing. But the day before this, and the day after, I had someone scheduled to do house repairs.

I think my prayer does a couple of things: (1) It’s a way of saying, “Thy will be done . . . ” (Matthew 6:9-10), and (2) it fulfills Philippians 4:6: Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

God answers prayer! I have a plaque on my wall with this reminder:

Yesterday He helped me

Today He did the same

How long will this continue?

Forever, praise His name.

Pixabay: Sun, Cloud, Nature, Sky; kropekk_pl

Two Fellows on a Ship

There’s one undeniable fact about a ship’s passengers. Together, they are headed in the same direction. That’s why I think fellowship can also mean friendship.

Today I shredded an old church directory but the introductory statement caught my attention: “This is not a “Church Directory” or a “Family Directory” in the traditional sense, but a “Friendship Directory.” The goal has always been to make it easy for people to connect in positive ways . . . encouraging one another . . . helping one another . . . praying for one another . . . always building up the Body of Christ.”

I also reviewed the closing statement: “As you reach out to one another may “the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit” (Philippians 4:23, NIV) as you continue to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3, NIV).

I can’t imagine life without friends. As a child I took to heart this verse: “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24 (KJV). This proved to be true in school, at work, and in church. I would also remind you, when it comes to friendship, don’t discount family.

My recent fall required surgery and 24/7 home care for nearly eight weeks. It not only made me appreciate the value of friendship, but I realized you don’t create meaningful friendships overnight.

Before my fall, I made weekly luncheon appointments with friends. I never dreamed I would need their physical and moral support on a deep level later, but I thank God for each one. I’ve asked Him to bless them in ways that mean the most to each of them.

Each friend is enjoyable because of their unique interests and character traits. Day and night we were two fellows on a ship. I believe our journey succeeded because we followed the church directory advice to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Close fellowship can’t help but cause some stress. My friends learned new things about me and I about them, but by God’s grace we kept the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. I’m grateful for that.   

Friends are Foundational

Some people say friends are the spice of life. To me, these are the lighthearted moments when we enjoy an activity together or laugh at a shared pithy quip or humorous quote. They're the feathers that give lift to our relational wings.

But I think foundational friends are needed more often than that. They’re the ones who don’t brush us off in the hard spots of life when we’d prefer to say, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Or, “I’ll think about it later.”

Life is not always that easy on us. We have to keep going and foundational friends stick right with us. When we complete the project, pass the test, or fulfill the assignment they join in our rejoicing.

The Apostle Paul had a habit of naming his friends at the end of his letters. Consider, for example, the friends named at the end of his letter to Colosse (Colossians 4:7-15, NLT):

Tychicus, beloved brother, faithful helper

Onesimus, also a beloved brother

Aristarchus, a fellow prisoner

Mark, a cousin of Barnabas

The one we call Justus sends greetings

Epaphras, a prayer warrior

Luke, the beloved doctor

Demas also sends greetings

Greet Nymphas and her house church

Tell Archippus to continue to carry out his ministry

I could easily name eight or ten friends who are foundational in my life. I’m sure they prefer their names remain private, but a foundational friend is the reason you are getting this blog right now. She knows more about computers than I do, and while I’m trying to learn more about technology, she’s got me covered.

Friends both local and out of town, longtime and new, call now and then to see how I’m doing. That’s always a nice morale boost. And lunches out or dinners at home with family and/or friends give a lift through a break in my routine.

I see a lot of love in these foundational friends. I Corinthians 13:4, NLT says, “Love is patient and kind.” What could be more foundational than that?

On that basis, who would you name as foundational friends?

Illustration: "Friendship" from Pixabay

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by Permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Carol Stream, Illinois 60188, All rights reserved.

The People Connection

Barbara Streisand is known for a popular song about a people connection. It’s still a pleasure to hear her singing, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

I recently ran across an article about *working from home. The author listed several positives but closed with one drawback: social isolation.

Mr. Schindler wrote, “While we can meet virtually, you really need face-to-face interaction with other humans. People need people. You can’t really do that on a phone or computer.”

COVID updates also reflect this theory. Would you believe children were slower in learning to talk? The cause? For months caregivers wore a mask and children could not observe lip movements.

Also reported were setbacks in education due to online classes. Adults may do well with such options, but it seems children still need personal classroom interaction.

People needing people is nothing new. I heard a teaching today on Acts 2:42 that caught my attention. After Peter’s sermon on the Day of Pentecost, verse 41 says about 3,000 people believed his message and were added to the church.

That’s what makes verse 42 (NKJV) fascinating:  And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.

I grew up with the idea of “fellowship meetings” where people gathered from churches in our district for a morning service, followed by a potluck meal. Years later, the district aspect was gone, but fellowship continued locally.

Is fellowship the same as the breaking of bread? “The breaking of bread” always meant communion to me, but Acts 2:42 lists 4 separate activities, so I took a deeper look. 

Fellowship indicates a friendly association of people with shared interests. There is a feeling of companionship, conviviality, and concern for one another. Their fellowship included a shared meal, followed by communion and prayers.  

People need people. But even when Covid-19 restrictions were lifted, church attendance dipped. One reason may be that many churches developed online ministries. Another reason may be our affluent lifestyles create no felt need for one another.

Loneliness, suicide, and depression are sometimes due to isolation. A people connection is important, and fellowship in a church is a viable option.

When we change our ways, good things can happen.

*Arizona Rated Eighth Best State for Working from Home, Kevin Schindler, QCBN; Quad Cities Business News, Prescott, AZ, June 2023, p. 4. 

An Everyday Promise

Life! What’s age got to do with it? Some people say, “Nothing.” Others say, “Everything.”

I tend to hang around the first group. Why? Because they’re the people who still want to engage with life---reading, thinking, questioning, being friendly, active, and outgoing.

In my mid-fifties, I was invited to head up a ministry for seniors aged sixty and up. At first, I felt very inadequate, but I found them to be very supportive

We enjoyed Sunday Bible class together, a once-a-month potluck with special entertainment, and outings now and then.   

These seniors were wonderful mentors. The majority were glad to have a group for their age, and new friendships were formed. But it wasn’t hard to understand those who said, “People aren’t friendly.” They were the ones who rarely came to the potlucks, and their response to Bible class was to come late and leave early.

The Bible is so true when it says if you want friends, you must show yourself friendly (Proverbs 18:24). Following that advice, I have made a very good friend this past year just by inviting her to lunch after weeks of noticing her sitting alone in church while I sat alone, too.

Perhaps I value friendship now because for 4 ½ years personal contacts were diminished. As a caregiver for my father, then my husband, I was rarely able to leave home, but the telephone was a refreshing option.

As life continues, I’ve been surprised at the number of friends who have called me because they are now caregivers. One of the ways I encourage them is to share some verses that kept me going.  

Every morning when I first awakened, I would say, “Thank you, Lord, for this new day and your new mercies. I’m counting on them” (Lamentations 3:22-25 (NIV). Take time to read it for yourself.

Those verses are still my everyday promise. That’s why I say, “Life! What’s age got to do with it?” 

Yes, I’m older, but I’m still me, and with God’s help I intend to keep on truckin’!

Friends and Family

I come from a small family of 3 siblings. We don’t live near each other, but we keep in touch. That’s the nice thing about our modern age.

When I was a caregiver for my father, the brother closest to me would drive a couple of hours to give me a day off. That was so much appreciated. If you have a family caregiver, please be aware they need a break now and then.

Making new friends as we grow older may seem challenging, but it’s worth the effort. At one point we ministered in a church that had a large influx of winter visitors. The thing I admired about them was their desire to be active and make new friends.

Our church flourished as these people were willing to take responsibility and leadership for many activities. They set a great example for those of us following in their footsteps.

Now that I’m retired, I’ve had more time to contemplate the value of family and friends. Proverbs 27:10 (NKJV) makes 3 points regarding these 2 groups: (1) Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, (2) Nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity, and (3) Better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.    

I value my friends. I would not want to forsake them, but my father and his friends are long gone. As for going to my brother’s house on a day of calamity, I think that sounds like a disaster that would probably preclude a long drive.

I live in a neighborhood where people watch out for one another, but besides that, I have made friends in my church and community. Add these to the friends I keep in touch with from past locations, and I am greatly blessed.

Family is a given, but how are you doing in the Friends Department? Here’s a secret . . . make the first move . . . don’t wait for them to do it.  

A Basis for Friendship

It’s been fun connecting with friends this week. No two conversations or meeting places were alike. One friend was in a rehab center, another brought me a bag of vegetables and other goodies, and one I hadn’t heard from in several weeks called to catch up.

I have a lot of enjoyable acquaintances, but there’s nothing like a friend who understands and appreciates my approach to life. We may not agree on every issue, but we respectfully agree to disagree, and our friendship remains intact.

Amos 3:3 (NLT) asks a simple question: Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? It would be foolish to answer, “Yes.”

God made a way for us to enter His heaven through the sacrifice made by Jesus, His Son (John 3:16-21 NIV). Not only that, He gave us a spiritual playbook, The Bible.

I’ve never played football, but I heard Tony Dungy say recently, “The playbook is crucial to the game. If a player loses his playbook, he’ll pay a big fine.” Too many of us have God’s playbook and simply choose to ignore it.

Psalm 15 is five short verses, but those who want to walk with God right on into heaven should consider them:  

The Message Bible puts it in simplest terms:

Walk straight, act right, tell the truth.

Don’t hurt your friend, don’t blame your neighbor;

Despise the despicable.

Keep your word even when it costs you,

Make an honest living, never take a bribe.

Read it in any translation; 

the bottom line is the same. 

These character qualities are a good basis 

for friendship with both God and man. 

How do you measure up?

God is always willing to help you make changes. It only deepens your relationship as you pour out your heart to Him.

  

Labels Are For Pickles

 

I enjoy the taste of a good pickle and rarely meet one I don’t like.  As a child, I enjoyed going to our cellar for watermelon rind pickles or bread and butter chips.

There’s a certain beauty in row upon row of pickles in glass jars.

While living in an old farmhouse, I once got inspired to try canning pickles. The key word is once. During the process, I dropped a very large jar of pickles and brine. You can imagine the mess!

Labels remind me of another aspect of childhood. You could drive by any church in town and read their label. It might be Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Assemblies of God, Catholic, or a variety of others.  

Have you noticed that church labels today are more generic? I’m sure our town is not unique in the number of non-denominational labels and community church names.

Dad taught by example that labels are for pickles. As a minister, it didn’t matter what town we lived in, he always joined the ministerial association. 

He believed Psalm 133:1: How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity. When I grew up, I came to appreciate his example even more.

As an adult, I was always surprised to hear people say, “When I was growing up, I could only be friends with kids from my own church.”

Dad's advice was, "Friends don’t have to be just from your denomination. You can always find a friend who loves Jesus.”

Thanks to Dad, my life was enriched by a variety of friends. We didn’t always agree on some points of doctrine, but our hearts were knit together in Christian love with God’s Word as our guide for living.

I associate labels and pickles with Dad because he had his favorites. But, lucky for me, when it came to people, he loved them all.

 

The Gorilla Glue of Life

Most people have heard some form of this scripture: And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13).

Picture life as a three-legged stool, and where would we be without any one of them? Off balance, for sure. I want all three in my life, but since God emphasized love, I’ll consider it more deeply.

Gorilla Glue was mentioned in a devotional today. I have never used it, but my husband always seemed to keep it handy.

The point was made that love is the Gorilla Glue in relationships. If you read the first nine verses of First Corinthians Thirteen, you’ll learn that love even trumps good works.

Consider some things love is NOT. It is neither envious nor prideful. It’s not selfish or rude. It doesn’t rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth.

If you have a relationship with someone like that, you are fortunate.

What are some other traits of love? It is long-suffering and kind. It bears, believes, endures, and hopes for the best in all things.

Who wouldn’t appreciate such a friend? Now, here’s the important question . . . Are you that kind of friend?

Relationships do best when handled with care. Bursts of anger can cause mistrust. Selfish actions are hurtful, no matter how positive the words spun by the perpetrator.

Keep love’s Gorilla Glue handy. Apply it with a spirit of forgiveness. I have found it helpful in maintaining long-time relationships, and it has also helped firm up new ones.

  

Little Blessings

Children, whether your own or those of others, can be little blessings. In my case, it turned out to be those of others.

When my husband and I married, we planned for a family. It's a long story, but it turned out to be an empty dream. In fact, neither of our families was very prolific in the baby department. But children were still important to us.

In my teens, I volunteered as a Sunday School teacher. My class of preschoolers was so much fun. Then after college, I taught in primary grades.

As Ministry Associate in a growing church, one assignment was to organize Sunday School and Children's Church. At that point, I was a teacher of teachers. But it was a pleasure to work with volunteers who truly cared about children.

My personal passion was the children's choir. Two moms were great assistants. One was always ready to play the musical tracks, and the other prepared the snacks.

Our thirty children presented a mini-concert one Sunday morning each month. The impact of these little blessings was obvious. Adult attendance became noticeably larger.

Little blessings, however, did not always come in big groups. My husband and I were blessed by the friendship of a young family with three children. Two little boys and their younger sister helped us create many happy memories.

We were also blessed with a Goddaughter. A family we had known for four generations honored us with this addition to their family. That little baby grew into a lovely young adult and we're still in touch.

One year, during a sabbatical, we lived with best friends for six months. The little blessing there was their three-year-old granddaughter. We enjoyed our daily interaction with her.

People have different reactions to Psalm 127:3,5. It speaks of children being a blessing from the Lord. My advice is, "Be open to little blessings, no matter how they come to you." 

 

Friendship Factors

FRIENDSHIP FACTORS

Friendship Is World-Wide

You've probably heard that "a friend is a present you give yourself." I think that's true, as far as it goes. But a one-sided friendship wears down and fades away after while.

Amos 3:3 asks a good question: Do two walk together, except they make an appointment and have agreed? (Amplified Version)

True friendship is a two-sided connection. While you are being a friend to have a friend, they are doing the same thing in reverse. Long-lasting friendship is the giving and receiving kind.

Friends Enjoy Life Together

Let's consider some positive friendship factors:

1) A friend knows your faults, but chooses to like you anyway.

2) They encourage your dreams and listen to your problems.

3) A friend catches your humor, and you catch theirs.

4) You share mutual interests in hobbies, entertainment, and spiritual things.

5) Your friendship communication is strong both in person and by other means.

6) When traveling together you make allowances for each other's peculiarities.
7) Each of you are free to share ideas when making plans.

8) Disagreements are worked out, not left to fester.

Healthy friendships allow for differences. Take food, for example. Dietary needs for one will be accommodated by the other. Why? The value is in the friendship, not the food.

A true friend is generous with your time as well as theirs. They are not possessive. They understand when you don't have time for them due to work or family responsibilities. 

They are willing to wait until you can connect again. Their friendship door always says, "Open."

Be Alert for Chocolate Chips

I smiled when I saw this coffee cup slogan: Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life. My sentiment, exactly.

Paying attention to friendship factors enriches our lives: 1) We can sweeten someone else's life, and 2) they can sweeten ours.

Are Your Words Building Blocks?

ARE YOUR WORDS

BUILDING BLOCKS?

The other day a friend and I were discussing modern communications. She enjoys Facebook and texting. I enjoy texting and Email. It's nice to have that instant communication, although I still enjoy writing a letter or sending a card.

We also talked of another modern phenomenon: Anyone who has an opinion on anything can now share it easily with everyone. Op Ed pieces in daily newspapers, for example, are probably out-shined by hundreds of opinions shared on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

What's disturbing about this is the imbalance of words. It would be nice if more opinions were shared as building blocks. We all know our world and our lives need improvement. There's no harm in telling the truth.

But many opinions come across as stumbling stones filled judgement, anger and/or bitterness. No positive solutions or suggestions are included.

Meaningful Community

Since the days of Adam and Eve life has been filled with challenges. Which century or culture has never had to deal with lack of food, job challenges, political powers, death, human relationships or major losses following natural disasters? 

In times like those, meaningful community relationships make a difference. I'm talking about a positive sense of community that comes from living with others in friendly association.

Simply being around people creates community in a broad sense. But that loose connection rarely helps us when life piles on personal challenges.

Satisfying, helpful, long-lasting community is developed deliberately. Think of your most satisfying relationships. Did they just grow automatically? Or were they developed by deliberate acts of caring and communication? How about a sharing of time?

Personal Community

Satisfying personal relationships are built on genuine concern for others. People with a "Me-Me" attitude can find themselves alone at the most inopportune times.

Have you ever thought of how words have built or broken your relationships? Some people think words always have to be rosy and sweet. But Proverbs 27:6 says, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

I'm grateful for friends I can trust to speak truth into my life. In fact, I go to them when I need help in sorting through issues for which I have no clear answers.

Proverbs 15:23 describes such a two-sided friendship perfectly: "A person finds joy in giving an apt reply---and how good is a timely word."

Perhaps our world could be improved if people put less emphasis on simply sharing their opinion and more time on an apt reply or timely word.

Make a Difference

None of us can solve modern communication problems single-handed. But together we can make a difference by using our words as building blocks.

Everyone's words have power. Yes, yours! And mine, too.