Avoid the Fence of Offense

AVOID the FENCE of OFFENSE

Along with Settlements Came Fences

Have you heard the old western song Don’t Fence Me In? Being fenced in by others is one thing, but fencing ourselves in is a different story.

Offenses are solid fence-building materials. They are easily produced through words or actions.

What is an offense? It can be something that makes us feel hurt or angry, insulted or resentful. It causes us to want to retaliate, or even cut that person off from our relationship.

Since none of us are perfect, we will either give offense or take offense. Jesus said, “It is impossible that no offenses should come” (Luke 17:1, NKJV).

Barred Windows Separate People

Solomon pictured it this way: “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Proverbs 18:19, NKJV). Think of such bars as quarrelsome or unfriendly attitudes and you see how easily they separate people.

We have been forewarned that offenses will come, so how should we react when they do?

I’m not always aware of offending people. I do, however, seem aware of when people offend me. That’s when I ask myself, “Will I take offense at this?”

When, upon careful consideration, I choose to forgive or let it go, peace comes quickly.

I've Forgiven Forty-Six Times Already

I think Peter asked the next best question: “How often should I forgive one who sins against me? Seven times?”

Jesus didn’t let him off the hook that easily. He replied, “Not seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21-22, NKJV).

Seventy times seven equals four hundred ninety. In our computer age we might actually be able to keep track of such forgiveness, however, I do not see that self-centered action as a source of peace.

Fences have their place, but not in relationships. That’s why I remind myself not to build a fence of offense.

Count to Ten

COUNT TO TEN

We Are Born With Ten Fingers

Surprise! This is not about counting to ten to calm your temper. It has a much happier meaning.

I have a new reason for you to count your ten fingers. Of course, you can count your toes if you wish, but fingers are easier.

When I was fighting cancer in 2007, I discovered something that medical articles are acknowledging today: Being thankful is a positive part of being healthy.

When it comes to being thankful, no one can do it for you; it’s personal. But your example of being thankful can encourage others to do the same.

Thanksgiving Day comes once a year and is celebrated in many ways. For some it’s a big family holiday. Others look forward to a church or community dinner. Football games reign on TV. But many forget to give thanks of any kind.

Just Be Thankful--No List Needed

It’s really not hard to be thankful. You don’t have to think about it for hours. You don’t even have to make a list. Just sit calmly and count silently to ten, using your fingers to keep track.

Is there anything that makes you smile? Anything that brings you joy? A very special memory? Anyone you are thankful to have in your life? Any personal gift or talent you like to share with others?

When I was growing up, many churches had a service on Thanksgiving Day. In fact, I helped organize a few of them. But now days most people are left to give thanks on their own.

Sunrise and Sunset Show God's Faithfulness 

Old One Hundred, (Psalm 100) reminds us that it is important to give thanks to God. Even just one verse can turn our thoughts in the right direction: The LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations (Psalm 100:5, NKJV).

That’s three things out of ten. Keep on counting!

Something We Can Trust

SOMETHING WE CAN TRUST

Let's Go Camping

Today’s inspirational thought is best shared with a little camping story. Let’s pretend it’s about you and a friend.

You’ve agreed to go camping, though you don’t know much about it. You only agree to go because you know you can count on your friend’s expertise.

The tent trailer is finally loaded, so you head to the campground. You’ve got your reservation but you mark your spot.

Campfires Are Fun

Out comes a plastic cloth for the rough picnic table. The ice chest comes next. Wood for the fire ring comes last.

You decide to read. Your friend says he’ll try out the kayak. When the sun lowers, you fix dinner together.

Almost too soon, it’s bedtime. You each take one end of the rig. Snuggled in a sleeping bag, you leave a tent flap open. Feeling cozy, you fall asleep to the whisper of wind in the trees.

Bright sun shouts, “Wake up!” After pancakes and coffee your friend says, “I’ve decided to go on a major hike alone. But here’s a map to a hike I think you would enjoy.”

 As he hands you the map, he points to the nearest edge of the woods. “Start over there, follow this map, and I promise you’ll find a most heavenly view!”

Since he’s an experienced hiker, and you’ve never known him to lie, you head off with faith in his words and the map.

Maps Can Be Very Helpful

The day gets hotter, your water gets low and food is gone. You wonder how much further is this heavenly view? You check the map again and remind yourself to stay focused.

You think, he didn’t give me a time frame. He just promised I’d get there.

You take a deep breath and plod ahead. Suddenly you stop in wonder---the breath-taking view! Your friend was right. The hike was worth it!

Each of us have challenging life trails that sometimes seem endless. But there’s a map filled with words we can trust. It was put together by the Friend who knows us best.

Psalm 119 says this map is God’s Word. The psalmist even considered it a treasure map! (See Psalm 119:162, NKJV)

But it has a couple of other important qualifications: (1) We can count on it because God’s word is forever settled in heaven, and (2) His faithfulness endures to all generations (Psalm 119:89).

There you have it. Something we can trust!

Puddle-Jumping Praise

PUDDLE-JUMPING PRAISE

Oh, Boy! A Mud Puddle!

As a child I enjoyed rainy days. After a storm I would put on my rubber boots and go puddle jumping. Of course, part of the fun was not always missing the mud.

I used to laugh when I saw the TV ad about the little boy stomping through mud puddles. Then he’d track up the house and his grandpa would clean up the mess. Mom did that for me.

Rain can be both a blessing and a curse. To farmers about to harvest crops, it’s a curse. To forest fires it can be a blessing. But there’s something to be said for that child-like joy and freedom found in puddle jumping.

As we become adults, we generally become more subdued. But isn’t it refreshing to meet people who freely express their joy and delight in life?

What surprises me is when this joy is expressed by people dealing with major mud puddles caused by life’s storms.

A great example is David, the shepherd boy who became king.

Rain and Mud Bring Challenges

Early in life he dealt with the puddle of being discounted by his family. God sent a prophet to David’s home to anoint a future king (1 Samuel 16).

All David’s brothers were brought before Samuel, but he did not get a yes from God on any of them. He asked, “Are there any more sons?”

David’s father replied, “Yes, the youngest is tending sheep.” Samuel said, “We’ll wait. Bring him in.” When David, arrived, Samuel got a yes from God and anointed him with oil.

David had more rainy days and lots of mud before much puddle-jumping praise. He spent years running for his life from King Saul (1 Samuel 22-24). He also created a muddy problem by committing adultery with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11).

Mud Is Not A Barrier to Joy

Anyone who has read the Book of Psalms knows David shares both his muddy experiences and his puddle-jumping praise.

Here’s an example: “Praise be to the LORD, for He has heard my cry for mercy . . . my heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song (Psalm 28:6-7).

No one gets through life mud-free, but puddle-jumping praise can be a life-changer.

Be Glad We're Not Copies

BE GLAD WE’RE NOT COPIES

There Is No Variety Here

I know we’re physically the same. Regardless of color or culture, we all have five basic senses. We hear, see, taste, touch and smell.

In Infant and Preschool classes, I learned that our body is called a trunk. From it grow appendages like arms, legs and head. I’m glad we’re alike in those ways.

What intrigues me most is the differences in our personality traits. Some people call that temperaments. There was a time when I researched it. My favorite author, then and now, is Florence Littauer.

There Is A Lot Of Variety In These Tags

She wrote a book called *PERSONALITY PLUS, How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself. 

Humans have enough common characteristics to create four different temperament charts. Then Florence continues to explain how each temperament varies due to endless combinations of strengths and weaknesses. 

I’ve been reading the Book of John. Chapter twenty really intrigued me with its description of three people who came to check on Jesus’ tomb.

Sunrise Can Be Enjoyed By Early Risers

Early in the morning, Mary of Magdala arrived first. When she saw the open tomb, she was shocked. Her immediate reaction was to run and tell Peter and John.

When they heard her report, both men took off running. John outran Peter, but when he got to the tomb he only bent over and looked in.

Peter came running up and barged on in to see for himself what was there. John followed him in.

Matthew Henry, Bible commentator, noted that John could out-run Peter, but Peter out-dared John. Not only that, perhaps John motivated Peter to run faster, while Peter’s boldness gave John more courage.

I’m glad we’re not simply copies of one another. Our differences make life interesting. They even encourage us to grow and spread our wings.

Calmness Has A Beauty All Its Own

Yes, I know differences also cause anger and disagreements. But there’s a characteristic available to ALL temperaments: Self-Control.

If you have worked on developing that trait, I’m sure you've seen how it leads to tranquility.

*PERSONALITY PLUS, How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself, Florence Littauer, Fleming H. Revell, Grand Rapids, MI, 1992.

Other personalities material by Florence Littauer is available from CLASServices.com or www.thepersonalities.com 

How Sorry ARE You?

HOW SORRY ARE YOU?

It’s never easy to say, “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” If it does come easy, it may not be fully sincere.

We have to humble ourselves to say, “I’m sorry.” Who but us knows our inward battle to get to that point?

A Good Movie Can Be Fun

I enjoy a Hallmark movie called THE MAKEOVER. Hannah is an educator and speaks with precise English. Being self-righteous, she doesn’t realize she's a snob.

She and her associate work with school systems; tutoring is not their business. But a less-educated man asks if Hannah will teach him to speak better. He would like to move up in his company.

Listening to him talk, Hannah is appalled. Only after prodding from her co-worker does she agree to take him on.

Hannah’s wit is biting and she's clueless about her effect on people. Her associate finally tells her she's been extremely hard on her protégé and she owes him an apology.

It’s funny to watch Hannah try to apologize without actually saying, “I’m sorry.”

Another Apology for the Same Thing?

Have you ever had someone apologize to you more than once for the same thing? I have, and by the third time I just let their words roll off. I think if they really meant it, they wouldn’t keep doing it.

Some people treat God the same way. They say, “I’m sorry, God,” when they regret something they’ve said or done. It takes more than regret, however, to bring about change.

That something deeper is repentance. That’s when a simple “I’m sorry” does not lessen your regret. Deep down you realize you must actually change your ways.

The Apostle Paul had a two-part message about this: (1)) Repent and turn to God, then (2) prove your repentance by your deeds (Acts 26:20).

Peter shared similar words: (a) Repent, (b) turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, and (c) times of refreshing may come from the Lord (Acts 3:19).

How sorry ARE you? 

Whether talking to God or to people, 

true sincerity comes from the heart, 

not just the lips.

Release to Renew

RELEASE to RENEW

It's Relaxing By The Water

For years my husband and I enjoyed vacations by returning to San Diego, California. We had previously enjoyed living and working inland. East County was only a twenty or thirty-minute drive from the coast, depending on your goal.

We would take our VW van and head toward the water on our days off. It was fun to park on the cliffs of La Jolla. Sometimes we would park and enjoy the views from Harbor Island toward Point Loma.

Walking in neighborhoods north of Hotel Del Coronado was always fun. But we also enjoyed the boardwalk in Seaport Village.

Mexican Food Is Tasty

As residents, we ate at our favorite Mexican restaurant about once a week. After moving away, we would try to return there on each vacation. It was amazing how long their lunch menu remained unchanged.

At last it came under new ownership. Though we got there only periodically, it was a noticeable change.

Solomon wisely declared, “There is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1).” That includes a time to leave the past behind.

We decided if we were going to revisit this area, it was time to find a new restaurant. After all, the old favorite had once been new, at the point of its discovery.

We humans rarely make changes unless we’re forced out of our comfort zone. In a restaurant that could mean the food doesn’t taste the same. In a store, your favorite brands may no longer be available.

It’s easy to fall into a comfortable rut, but change can actually give you a boost. You might notice that your eyes sparkle and your mind is engaged as you excitedly share with someone your new discovery.

Freedom: Release to Renew

But these are not the only things that can be brought to life by release.

Do you need to let go of an annoying habit? A consistent, unfulfilled expectation? A sense of boredom because nothing ever changes?

You can spark up your life. But you must release to renew.