How To Have A Friend And Be A Friend

It’s a long title, I know. But the point is that true friendship works both ways.

Of course, there are casual friends or acquaintances. They’re important and add variety to our lives; however, we also need close friends, people who know us well and love us anyway.  

Mutual Interests

People can enjoy being together if they agree on things (Amos 3:3). That’s why I enjoy my Christian friends. They understand my scriptural choices and I theirs. We also enjoy places to eat, entertainment, and topics of conversation. I no longer live near a long-time friend, but our telephone conversations still cover these basic areas of interest.   

Encouragement and Understanding

Understanding is a fountain of life, pleasant words are sweet to the soul and bring healing to our bodies (Proverbs 16:22, 24). When I was in a care center after hip surgery, days and nights seemed endless. But kind words and encouragement from friends helped me keep focused on my recovery.

Truthful Communication

It’s good to have someone who can help us face the truth (Proverbs 27:6); however, wise friends do it in such a way as not to crush our spirit (Proverbs 15:4). Remember, life and death are both in the power of the tongue! (Proverbs 18:21)

Help When Needed

We’re not to be concerned only with our own interests, but also the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). An example for me was a friend who volunteered to stay in my guest room and help me the first two weeks I was home from hip surgery. On the flip side, I scheduled other friends to stay with me each afternoon to give her a break.

Take No Offense

A true friend loves at all times (Proverbs 17:17), but misunderstandings do happen. We are to forgive and bear with one another (Colossians 3:13), but let’s get real. If it’s something you can’t overlook, then talk it over.

Friendships are important to our health. Don’t isolate. Sometimes, when I feel extremely lonely, I’m grateful I can pick up my phone and call a friend.   

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