My Psalm One Daddy

MY PSALM ONE DADDY

My dad was not perfect, but is anybody’s? He lived to the ripe old age of ninety and I knew him as the oldest of three siblings.

Some people would call dad a “preacher man.” Not me. In the professional world he was called a minister, which was fine. But on a day-to-day basis I saw him as a “pastor.”

Pastor brings to mind pasture. Pasture brings to mind sheep. Sheep need a shepherd. Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me” (John 10:14). That was the type of relationship dad had with people in his congregations.

Dad in Action

Dad studied long and hard to faithfully share God’s Word in church services. I’ve heard people say, “You preachers have it easy. You only work on Sunday.” Not true with dad. With him it was ministry twenty-four/seven.

Sometimes people came to our home. Other times they went to his office. He went to them, too, through hospital and home visitation. It was important to him to feed the sheep in practical ways and everyday settings.

My dad’s faithful ministry had a large impact on my life, but that’s not why I call him “My Psalm One Daddy.” That title comes from his personal life.

Daddy Up Close

 My life was greatly influenced by his consistency. Although compassionate to the wayward, he held himself accountable to personal principles. For example, his word was his bond. He paid his bills. He loved and provided for his wife and children. He set an example in higher education. He planned family vacations.

Before dad passed away, I was his caregiver for two and a half years. Until the last few days, I saw him read his giant print Bible and get down on his knees to pray. This matched my childhood memories.

The last three days of his life were in a hospice care center. My oldest brother was sitting with him while I went to enjoy a cup of hot tea in a deli.

Suddenly I felt extremely impressed to go home, get my Bible, then go share Psalm One with dad.

A Personal Message

Standing close to his bedside, I said, “Dad, according to Psalm One, you are a blessed man. You have not taken advice from the wicked, but you’ve walked in the ways of the Lord as you’ve read and studied His word.”

“You may not have felt prosperous, but God daily met your needs. You have produced spiritual fruit continually as you’ve shared God’s Word and prayed for people all these years.”

“And there are people in the churches you pastored who have continually loved the Lord and raised their families to do the same.” I then read Psalm One aloud.

Father's Day

Dad never responded, but since hospice says hearing is the last to go, I believe he heard me. 

Today is Father's Day. Though he died six years ago, I’m still thankful for my Psalm One daddy.

Are Your Words Building Blocks?

ARE YOUR WORDS

BUILDING BLOCKS?

The other day a friend and I were discussing modern communications. She enjoys Facebook and texting. I enjoy texting and Email. It's nice to have that instant communication, although I still enjoy writing a letter or sending a card.

We also talked of another modern phenomenon: Anyone who has an opinion on anything can now share it easily with everyone. Op Ed pieces in daily newspapers, for example, are probably out-shined by hundreds of opinions shared on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

What's disturbing about this is the imbalance of words. It would be nice if more opinions were shared as building blocks. We all know our world and our lives need improvement. There's no harm in telling the truth.

But many opinions come across as stumbling stones filled judgement, anger and/or bitterness. No positive solutions or suggestions are included.

Meaningful Community

Since the days of Adam and Eve life has been filled with challenges. Which century or culture has never had to deal with lack of food, job challenges, political powers, death, human relationships or major losses following natural disasters? 

In times like those, meaningful community relationships make a difference. I'm talking about a positive sense of community that comes from living with others in friendly association.

Simply being around people creates community in a broad sense. But that loose connection rarely helps us when life piles on personal challenges.

Satisfying, helpful, long-lasting community is developed deliberately. Think of your most satisfying relationships. Did they just grow automatically? Or were they developed by deliberate acts of caring and communication? How about a sharing of time?

Personal Community

Satisfying personal relationships are built on genuine concern for others. People with a "Me-Me" attitude can find themselves alone at the most inopportune times.

Have you ever thought of how words have built or broken your relationships? Some people think words always have to be rosy and sweet. But Proverbs 27:6 says, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

I'm grateful for friends I can trust to speak truth into my life. In fact, I go to them when I need help in sorting through issues for which I have no clear answers.

Proverbs 15:23 describes such a two-sided friendship perfectly: "A person finds joy in giving an apt reply---and how good is a timely word."

Perhaps our world could be improved if people put less emphasis on simply sharing their opinion and more time on an apt reply or timely word.

Make a Difference

None of us can solve modern communication problems single-handed. But together we can make a difference by using our words as building blocks.

Everyone's words have power. Yes, yours! And mine, too. 

Blessed by a Peacemaker

BLESSED by a PEACEMAKER

It happened again today. A workman finished his work and sat down on our deck. “You have a great view,” he said. 

Every time I hear those words, I think of dad.

Over fifty years ago, dad moved our family to the Arizona desert. Back then you could get to the outskirts of Phoenix pretty quickly and dad loved doing breakfast in the desert. He’d pack us all in the car, along with the camp stove and supplies, and create some really fun memories.

The desert was fine, but dad also wanted a cabin in the pines. Knowing there was an affordable option in the Prescott area, he headed north to look around.

In Search of a Dream

Available lots were around the edge of a private campground and retreat center. The property was hilly and filled with huge boulders, but he picked a corner lot where two rough roads intersected.

The summer cabin he built was small, like all the others. I always thought the lot we enjoyed had been his first choice. But when I became his fulltime caregiver, I got the rest of the story.

One day I was remarking on the view when Dad said, “I really wanted a lot down closer to the center of the camp.” I said, “I never knew that.” He said, “I picked it out and thought it was settled, but then someone insisted they had picked it first.” I was intrigued at this new information.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“I explored lots farther away from the camp center. Not many people wanted to drive up the hills and build over boulders and gullies.” That explained our cabin, built over major boulders with a good view because of a gully.

Good Choice, Dad

I said, “I’m glad you let someone have their first choice down below. Nothing could be better than this view. But which lot was your first choice? Who got it?”

When he declined to say, I was rather disappointed. But then I thought I don’t need to know. All I need to do is enjoy the view. He kept his peacemaking decision private right to the grave.

The New Living Translation says, “God blesses those who work for peace . . ." (Matthew 5:9). During twenty-five years of ministry in Phoenix, dad and mom enjoyed lots of vacations and short trips to the cabin. Later it became their retirement home.

When my husband and I purchased the cabin as a vacation home, we agreed the folks could always live there. After mom and dad passed away, we decided to make it our retirement home.

Peace Just Keeps On Giving 

Dad was blessed for being a peacemaker, but his descendants were blessed, too. Isn’t that how life is? The decisions we make for good or bad affect not only us, but those around us now, and those yet to come.

Because I was blessed by a peacemaker, I’m often reminded to be one.

Thank God for Overs

THANK GOD for OVERS

Blogging is a rather new thing for me. About six years ago I started writing inspirational stories. I set a goal of five-hundred words or less, but I didn’t know how I would share them.

Cost was a factor, so my husband encouraged me to start sharing with my email contacts. That satisfied me for a few years, but I wanted to do more.

I had a couple of deep desires: (1) self-publish my stories, and (2) have a web site. Both were fulfilled in the same year.

My older brother and his wife funded the publishing of my book: REFLECTIONS: Inspirational Stories from Everyday Life with BookLocker.com. At the same time, I created a website under the domain name of Author Darlis Sailors.

New Opportunities

This past year a friend told me about BlogSpot.com. Her encouraging articles appear under Fresh Start Momentum.  My youngest brother, a professional writer, suggested I call my blog New Day by Darlis. I loved that idea because I look forward to a fresh start each day.

I look at it this way. Why get stuck in yesterday? Maybe it didn’t go well, but you don’t have to stay in the past---even one day past. Give yourself a new start. God does.

A Source of Hope

One of my favorite scriptures is Lamentations 3:22-23. Since life can only be lived one day at a time, I see it as a source of hope. See if this encourages you, too:  Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

I love the idea of a fresh start. Instead of regrets or self-condemnation, I make it a point to thank God each morning for His new mercies and a chance for “overs.” I don’t know about you, but my days are not generally perfect and I’m not either. A second chance on some things is very much appreciated.

Hope for the Ancients

If you know much about the life of the Apostle Paul, he suffered many hardships as he shared the good news of Jesus Christ. But he must have counted on God’s new mercies each day, too. He wrote, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).

Read to the end of that chapter and you’ll see why his faith was strong. He focused not on the seen, but the unseen. Think about it. Things we see are temporary, but the unseen is eternal.

Hope for Us Moderns

In the realm of the unseen, faith and hope are powerful energizers. When life gets tough, faith and hope help us persevere. But there’s nothing automatic about them.

The key is to deliberately apply them to your life. As you wake up each morning, let God know you’re grateful for a new day and you’re counting on His fresh mercies. Thank God for “overs.”

Helped by a Stranger

HELPED by a STRANGER

A friend of mine recently moved into a lovely retirement resort. I was delighted to be invited to her welcoming luncheon.

I did not know any of the other six ladies, but I enjoy meeting new people. I don’t recall what we were discussing when the lady next to me said, “Be anxious for nothing.” I responded, “Instead, pray about everything. I’ve learned the importance of that.”

No Hair

As I was brushing my hair this morning I was reminded of having a bald head back in 2007. After being diagnosed with breast cancer I had chemo, surgery, and radiation.

Chemo caused me to lose my hair. During the daytime I was comfortable tying a large cotton handkerchief around my head, knotted in back. My husband teased me about being his “motorcycle mama.” When out and about, I felt my bald had was quite covered up and not noticeable. I was wrong, but I was happy.

A Cold Head

It was summertime in Phoenix. Our little place had air conditioning, for which I was grateful; however, it was a problem at night. I slept with my head uncovered because the cotton headgear was uncomfortable. The AC gave me a cold head, even though I tried to cover my head with a sheet.

I thought, It’s summer in Phoenix. Surely some store will have knit beanies on a sale pile somewhere. I went to major department stores and sports equipment stores. When I asked for a knit beanie, not only did I get a negative answer but the sales clerks looked at me strangely.

I gave up and started to pray about it. My prayer was based on the scripture the lady mentioned at last week’s luncheon: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6).

An Unexpected Solution

One day I was in line at a pharmacy, waiting for my prescription. I noticed a lady observing me. She didn’t say anything, but as I left the pharmacy counter and shopped some other aisles I noticed her shadowing me.

Finally, she came up cautiously and said, “I hope you won’t be offended, but I belong to a group that knits caps for chemo patients. I have only one left. It’s lavender----would you like to have it?” 

WOULD I?

I waited while she went to her car. When she came back I tried to explain how thankful I was for her thoughtfulness. The beanie yarn was very soft and I slept soundly in it.

Many Thanks

Attached to the hat was a small card with the name and address of this caring group. I sent them a thank you note.

Of course, I also thanked God for hearing my prayer. I didn’t even know this group existed, but God knew I could be helped by a stranger.

The JOY of EASTER

The JOY of EASTER

I was sharing with a friend the other day how my mother gave us kids Easter baskets, though dad did not fully approve. Being a minister, he wanted to be sure we celebrated Easter for the right spiritual reasons.

Mom helped us color hard-boiled eggs. These were placed in our baskets on top of shredded green artificial grass. She would include a chocolate egg and other candy. The fun came in exploring our baskets before we left for church.

There we heard the Bible story of The Resurrection of Jesus. No one mentioned Easter baskets. That was just a fun thing we did at home. Well . . . mostly fun. Some of the fun disappeared when mom served boiled eggs in different ways the next few days.

Time Changes Things

A lot of churches and communities now do Easter Egg Hunts. Some have grassy areas to hide the eggs. Others have to get creative as they hide huge amounts of eggs indoors. Either way, it’s fun for the kids.

I’ve been in churches that requested donations of plastic eggs and wrapped candy. I’ve contributed because I know children look forward to hunting Easter eggs. And, if they come, they will hear the Biblical story of Jesus and His Resurrection.

The Cross and the Garden

We acknowledge the hard part of Jesus' story on Good Friday. He suffered on the cross. I don’t like to think about that, but I rejoice in His words, “It is finished.” His sacrifice for the forgiveness of sin complete, He bowed His head and gave up His spirit (John 19:30). 

There was a garden near the crucifixion site. Jesus’ body was placed in a tomb there (John 19:38-41). Years ago, I enjoyed a trip to Israel and saw both sites in person. But I don’t celebrate the empty tomb; I celebrate the Resurrection.

There’s a special blessing in that.

What Is Faith?

You’ve probably heard of Doubting Thomas. He was one of Jesus’ twelve disciples at The Last Supper, but he was missing when Jesus appeared to the group the night of His Resurrection (John 20:19).

Later the disciples reported, “We have seen Him!” But Thomas staunchly declared, “Unless I see His wounds and touch them myself, I will not believe.”

Eight days later Jesus appeared to the disciples again. This time Thomas was there and Jesus addressed him personally. “Thomas, reach out and touch my wounded hands and side. Believe!” Thomas answered, “My Lord and my God” (John 20:24-28).

As Jesus acknowledged Thomas’ faith, He also spoke a blessing upon believers of a different kind: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29). That’s me. Is it you?

John said he wrote so “that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name” (John 20:31, KJV). Through faith I have hope of eternal life.

Celebration Unlimited

Easter eggs are fun, but the real JOY of EASTER is The Resurrection. It's something we can celebrate all year.

One Positive Way to Life Improvement

ONE POSITIVE WAY to LIFE IMPROVEMENT

Very few people are so self-satisfied that they see no need for improvement. Most of us are aware we fall short of perfection on a daily basis.

I have always enjoyed reading autobiographies. I figure who can better tell a person’s story than the person himself? I’m currently reading Sidney Poitier’s The Measure of a Man. In just a few sentences he makes a case for life improvement through forgiveness.

“In this life of mine I can’t recall any situation in which forgiveness hasn’t ultimately been the settlement. However, getting to forgiveness hasn’t necessarily been a rapid transition. Still, I level out with most such relationships at least cleansed of the rancor, if not intact. And I live better with the situation even if a relationship is altered irreparably in some ways.”

His comment coincided with something Fulton Oursler said in his little book of Modern Parables. The Bible says “blessed are the peacemakers,” but how can peace be made in the world? Oursler offered a couple of suggestions: 1) Don’t hold grudges, and 2) Do more than you are required to do.

Avoid Rancor

Though decades apart in their writing, each man referred to rancor. Oursler said, “It is literally true that anger, jealousy, envy---all rancors burn out cells and tissues, use up adrenaline, and, in riotous feeling, spend away our health.”

Rancor refers to something that rankles us, or keeps us upset. My dictionary says it can be a long-lasting anger or resentment that festers and becomes inflamed. Physical first aid requires us to deal with inflammation. Spiritual first aid requires no less.

Give Yourself First Aid

When it comes to healing relationships, forgiveness is basic first aid. Like a healing salve, it offers different remedies. Here are three suggested treatments:

            1.  Give up your resentful desire to punish the one who offended

                         or mistreated you. 

            2.  Choose to overlook the offense, offer them pardon, then let it go.

            3.  Release them from your expectations, remain open-hearted,

                          let bygones be bygones.

Make the First Move

I think there’s truth in Mr. Poitier’s comment that even if he forgives, the relationship may be “irreparably altered.” That’s why I think scripture is realistic when it says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). No matter how the other person responds, you can relax. You have done your part toward restoration.

The Lord’s Prayer is a good spiritual litmus test. Some people say, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Others say, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Say it either way. If you feel a prick in your spirit ask God to show you the problem.

Improve Your Life

I have yet to meet a person who has never been offended. Life, even at its best, has rough edges that cause wounds. Just remember, forgiveness is one positive way to life improvement.