Travel Light

TRAVEL LIGHT

Armchair travel is a lot of fun. Some of my favorite trips are via Rick Steves' Europe. His half-hour shows on public broadcasting stations are educational and fun to watch.


One noticeable thing about Mr. Steves is how he travels light. In fact, on one of his DVDs he has tips on just how he does it.

I can think of only one time when I succeeded in traveling light. I was highly motivated because I was taking a flight to Washington state for a friend's wedding.

By planning carefully, I packed a backpack with what I needed for the week. I also took my shoulder purse and wore my London Fog coat. The trip went well.

Packing is Personal

Life is a journey that also goes better when we travel light. One way to do that is to avoid carrying grudges. Another way is to let go of regrets. Both are weights that slow us down.

Offenses are a part of life that must be dealt with. Colossians 3:13 (NIV) has a couple of recommendations: Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

My thesaurus actually has an entry for bear with. It is followed by words like tolerate, be patient, put up with and endure.

Find forgive in my dictionary and you'll see it means to give up resentment against someone. It also means to stop being angry with them and/or to cancel their debt.

Can you see how bear with and forgive work together? Most people think of forgiveness as a one-time action. But deciding to forgive is only step one. Saying "I forgive you" is step two. But that's not always the end of it.

Unpack and Leave It Out

There was once a person I fully intended to forgive. I even said the right words, thinking that would end my inner struggle. But I learned I had to bear with the situation, too.

We were co-workers. Each time the offense came to mind I chose to travel light. I refused to take up the offense again. I said, "I have forgiven and I'm letting it go."

Eventually I was at peace with the person and situation. 

Happy Traveling

I know my experience was not unique because when I was a ministry associate people often mentioned their struggle to forgive. 

They were always encouraged to know they could continually choose to travel light.

You can, too.

Two Things That Add Up to Nothing

2 Things That Add Up to Nothing

I was leafing through my latest journal when my eye caught a scripture reference at the bottom of one page. It's a contrasting list of ten things that cannot separate us from God's love.

The Apostle Paul said he was convinced that neither death nor life, angels nor demons, the present nor the future, nor any powers, height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation would be able to separate us from God's love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38, NIV).

Count the words in italics and you'll find ten things that add up to nothing. Nothing can separate us from God's love. But a couple of items there caught my attention this week.

First it was the word life. You've probably heard people say, "Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans." It certainly seems true in a care giver's life.

Professional care givers like doctors and nurses make plans to do their job well. Even home health care personnel come well-trained. But for the family member who is called upon to be a care giver it may seem like an overwhelming challenge. That's life!

Welcome Home

I found my husband's recent need for care overpowering at first. I was happy to have him home after nineteen days in the hospital, but he needed help day and night.

The only way to face the challenge was to adjust. Calendars and daily plans were cancelled and life went on from need to need. Family care givers recognize the challenges and encourage one another accordingly. I appreciated the kudos, but inside I fought a hard battle.

It was strange to see my husband so incapacitated. No one could say how long it would last, or if he would ever improve. I'm normally quite positive, but I found myself fighting pessimism more often than I wanted to admit.

That's when I thought about the phrase nothing else in all creation is able to separate us from God's love. That includes emotions. The Creator God knows we are emotional beings.

Jesus understands emotions, too. On earth he prayed with all his might that if there was another way he could avoid the cross. He wept at his friend Lazarus' tomb. He also recognized weariness and suggested he and the disciples go away to rest.

Stay Alert 

Emotions and thoughts work together. I've always liked the saying that you can't keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building nests there.

God gave us will power and I find it useful to keep my mind free of negative nests. Sometimes it's with scripture, other times a song. Sometimes it's with meditation and prayer, or reading a good book. But a choice is always to be made.

I've shared two things that add up to nothing. Life is a challenge. But nothing in it can ever separate us from God's love.

Why Wait to be Thankful?

WHY WAIT to be THANKFUL?

Fall is my favorite time of year. I live in northern Arizona where changing leaves turn mostly bright yellow. But as I drive the streets around town I see a few lovely reds here and there.

Growing up in eastern South Dakota meant not only changing colors on the trees, but piles of autumn leaves. The bonfires we enjoyed are a thing of the past, but I have one other lovely memory.

Dad used to go pheasant hunting with the men of our church. Fried pheasant was a real treat on our dinner table. I have not had that since we moved to Arizona in my teenage years, but I've never forgotten it.

In these first three paragraphs did you notice some things for which I am thankful? I'd say it was the Fall season, colorful leaves, growing up in South Dakota, fried pheasant and happy memories.

One Special Day

I'm thankful to live in a country which honors one special day of the year as Thanksgiving Day. That means different things to different people. Which of these phrases explain it best for you?

               1. A Day to Give Thanks
               2. A Day of Worship
               3. Festival of Plenty
               4. The Last Thursday in November
               5. Turkey Day
               6. A Holiday Preceding Black Friday
               7. Feasting with Family and Friends
               8. A Day for Parades and Football Games

Usually the day of worship is the Sunday preceding the last Thursday in November. I remember one Thanksgiving at our church in southern Arizona. We distributed special note cards to the congregation. The purpose was to encourage them to write a note of thanks to someone who made a difference in their life.

Now days people can easily send texts and emails to accomplish that meaningful project. I hope you will.

Let's Get Personal

Out of the above phrases, two explain Thanksgiving best for me. Number one says it's a day to give thanks. I enjoy this special day of thankfulness, but I try to maintain a thankful heart all year long.

Some meaningful guidelines are found in Psalm 100:4 (NIV). In giving thanks to God Almighty, we are to: (1) enter His gates with thanksgiving, (2) enter His courts with praise, (3) give thanks to Him, and (4) praise His name.

I don't always do this in a public setting. Sometimes it's just a personal time of quiet reflection.

Make a Memory

Number seven mentions feasting with family and friends. Over the years we have not always been able to celebrate Thanksgiving Day with family. That's when it became special to be invited to the home of friends.

On the other hand, there were years when we were the friends that invited others over to celebrate with us. And in one church where we pastored, teams of people worked hard to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for their church family and friends.

The last Thursday of November will soon come and go. Plan now to make it special, whether public or private. Happy Thanksgiving! 

Living Life in Sync

LIVING LIFE in SYNC

Living life in sync means connecting with people in a timely and meaningful way. "Synchronize your watches," was a phrase in old movies. Men on a mission made sure their watches shared the same time, then off they went to accomplish their assignment.

If only synchronizing life events was a simple as synchronizing watches.

My recent experiences as a care giver caused me to think about the importance of synchronizing life in three basic areas:

At Home

We are a family of two. Upon his recent release from the hospital, my husband required constant care. I made a choice to be available. That meant my days and nights were synchronized with his needs.

What amazed me was all the things that had to be done beyond his care. It's funny how many times I thought of the old saying, "Man may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done."

Beyond personal care there were meals to prepare and dishes to do. I was grateful to have a washer and dryer. Having clean clothes and bedding was certainly made a lot easier.

Prior to illness, my husband had dealt with the trash, picked up the mail and paid the bills. I knew how to fill the car with gas, but had never taken it in for tire rotation. Our lives got in sync as I learned to do what needed to be done.

Outside the Home

Once again, circumstances have shown us the importance of living life in sync with others.


Physical ailments draw so much energy for recovery that there's not much left to build new relationships. That's why we were grateful for emails, texts and phone calls from family and friends saying, "We're praying for you." Or, "If there is anything we can do, let us know."

I wish I could list all the ways people have made our lives easier.

Thrift store shoppers found a cane for my husband just like the one in the hospital. They also found a like-new transfer bench for showers. Another friend made hospital gowns for ease of home care. A neighbor stops by for our trash on his way to the dumpster.

Inside the Heart

My husband and I try to share a devotional and prayer every day. Almost daily I remind myself that I need my evening rest---that the Lord's compassion and faithfulness will be renewed in the morning (Lamentations 3:22-23, NIV).

Prior to care giving challenges, I had a routine of Bible study and writing each morning. I was telling a friend yesterday that I have been unable to keep it up, but that I feel God's compassion, not condemnation. 

Perhaps that's because in the Lord's compassion He remembers that we are made of dust (Psalm 103:13-14, NIV).

There has never been a day without challenges but, in my experience, living life in sync makes it easier.

Humor by the Side of the Road

HUMOR BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

I wonder if Santa Claus ever noticed the ads for Burma-Shave? For thirty-eight years this product was advertised on six small wooden signs in a row. Each was planted on a post in a field along a highway.

While browsing my shelves this week, I found The Verse by the Side of the Road: The Story of the Burma-Shave signs and jingles with all 600 of the roadside rhymes. It's a small book written by Frank Rowsome, Jr. (1965). Flipping through it brought back happy memories.

Fun Advertising
On family vacations all five of us enjoyed reading the unique jingles as our car whizzed by. The last sign always said Burma-Shave. For those who never saw these, here are two examples:

     THE BOY WHO GETS/HIS GIRL'S APPLAUSE/MUST ACT/NOT LOOK/LIKE SANTA CLAUS/BURMA-SHAVE

     HE SAW/THE TRAIN/AND TRIED TO DUCK IT/KICKED FIRST THE GAS/AND THEN THE BUCKET/BURMA-SHAVE

Life is a Challenging Journey
Perhaps this book caught my eye because my husband is in need of a shave. While he was recuperating from colon surgery in the hospital, his whiskers never gave up. I kidded him about looking like Santa Claus, but he said, "I'm too thin." I said, "OK, then, Santa's brother. But why don't you keep the mustache and chin beard for a while?" He had struggled hard just to shave his cheeks.

Dealing with recovery from any trauma or long-term illness is difficult. When someone is unable to care for themselves, the challenge is not theirs alone. It's also a challenge for the caregiver.

Dismissal from the hospital last week included a referral for home health care. We are grateful. But the bottom line is that my husband and I are left to deal with challenges on our own, twenty-four/seven. Anyone who's been there can understand how daily living routines tend to become overwhelming. That's why we look for good medicine every day.

Good Medicine Helps
I'm talking about the kind mentioned in Proverbs 17:22 (NIV): A cheerful heart is good medicine. I'm also aware of the contrast in that verse: A crushed spirit dries up the bones. I don't want that, but sometimes I realize it feels like I'm there. That's when good medicine is needed.

A cheerful heart is a happy heart . . . a joyful heart . . . a rejoicing heart. None of these come automatically, and what helps one day may not help the next. One good medicine is happy memories. That's why the Burma-Shave book was timely. It reminded me of family fun times on vacations in the western states.

Recovery from any illness or surgery seems to make days long and nights longer. Sleep is helpful, but who wants to sleep night and day? Nutrition is important, but you can't eat your troubles away, so . . . what else? Good medicine!

I find it in happy memories of favorite trips or vacations, people we have known, and churches we have worked in. I find more good medicine in my Bible, books, magazines, favorite DVDs and DVRs.

A Common Challenge
We each have a different life's journey. What we have in common is the challenge to look for humor by the side of the road.

What A Day!

WHAT A DAY!

It's easy to think we are in control until the jolt of something unexpected, like a trip to the emergency room. My husband began an unforeseen journey of hospital care and recovery on October 5, 2017. It ended with his release on October 21, 2017. What a day!

His life and mine are intertwined, thanks to marriage vows over fifty years ago. I've always enjoyed being the passenger while he's been the driver, but today we received a new challenge. One of his first discharge instructions was, "No driving." Two little words turned my world and his upside down. What a day!

I made many daily trips to the hospital because I wanted to meet his daytime and nighttime nursing teams. My hat is off to people who can work twelve hour shifts and remain pleasant. I also met the hospital doctors, cleaning personnel, meal delivery persons, physical and occupational therapists, chaplain and volunteers. My husband laughed when he told me, "I no sooner get to sleep than someone wakes me up to give a med or check my vital signs." What a night---what a day!

I had lots of text messages, voice mails and emails inquiring about my husband's progress. It was encouraging to know people were praying for his recovery and strength for me, too. I tried to respond to each message personally the first four days. It was overpowering, so I decided to send group updates as blind carbon copy emails. That left about four people who had to be reached by phone. We live in a marvelous day! 

Following surgery, my husband's progress was steady. On October 19, 2017 the hospital doctor felt he was ready for release. My husband was in good spirits and ready to go The nurse removed three sutured IV tubes in his neck, gave him the required flu shot and told me I could get him dressed to leave. That's what I was doing when I realized he had become stiff as a statue and totally unresponsive. I called the nurse; she called for help. Later a CT scan showed nothing. The next day neither did an MRI, but my husband had stroke-like weakness on his left side. What a day!

Now we're home. I appreciate my husband's concern for my health, but I'm the caregiver and will do what needs to be done. He certainly did that for me when I fought cancer in 2007 and beyond. We used to open our Sunday morning church service with a chorus based on Psalm 118:24. It said, "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." When my husband tried to change the opening song, people begged to keep it. Life is full of sunshine and shadow. This is the latter; what a day!

Music speaks to our hearts. There's another song we sing. It's based on Lamentations 3:21-24. Perhaps you know it. The message is that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases and His mercies never come to an end. In fact, He is so great in His faithfulness that His mercies are new every morning. Every day has the potential to be a good day! We're counting on that.

The Practicality of Caring

THE PRACTICALITY OF CARING

Have you ever gone through hard times and been comforted by the concern of others?

When I was going through cancer treatments many people comforted me with things that had comforted them on their journey. The same thing happened when I became a caregiver for my father. And again, when he passed away.

Since taking my husband to the emergency room over a week ago, the practical side of caring has been on my mind.

When I facilitated grief recovery classes, one scripture we always discussed was Second Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV). God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others in trouble with the comfort we receive from God.

This exchange of receiving and giving is easily observed in a small group setting, but less obvious one-on-one. 

Either way, the practicality of caring is extremely valuable.

Much of its value lies in the variety of ways it is shown. If everyone did it the same way, life would be very bland.

While waiting for surgery, our pastor came to pray for my husband and serve him communion. Many friends sent messages to say you are in our prayers. 

The practicality of caring is in action, not theory.

The morning after surgery I walked in to see a smiley face and get-well balloon tied to the foot of the hospital bed. They brightened the room, but my husband was not very alert. When I questioned the nurse she said, "All I know is that two people came and said they were praying for him."

A friend, well-acquainted with my husband's love of cars, sent him a floral arrangement in a cute little roadster. People sent cards to our home. My brother sat with my husband and gave me a day of rest. The night I was called back to stay with my husband to calm him down, a friend responded to my request for some fast food.

The practicality of caring is knowing what you can do to please others, not yourself.  

We were blessed with many expressions of love and concern. I tried to answer texts, emails and phone calls daily. But after my husband's surgery, his recovery was slow and I was exhausted.

I sent a group email, letting people know I appreciated their concern but I would have to respond with group updates. I knew I was loved the next day when my phone had no texts or voice mails. People had sent brief, affirmative responses to my email, expecting no replies.

Have you experienced some comfort in trying times? God says it's a two-way street. He comforts us, we comfort others. Some people say that's paying it forward.

The practicality of caring is open to your interpretation. 

The important thing is to act on it.