Happy NEW Year

Happy NEW Year!

It's a New Year All Around the World

I'm always glad when a NEW year rolls around. It means I have survived all the challenges and joys of the previous year. Out with the old and in with the NEW!

New can apply to many things. Consider these examples:

1)   Solomon said, "There's nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9). If you just finished a season of Hallmark movies you might tend to agree. Writers know there are basic life themes and what keeps any story going is giving it an unexpected twist. So, don't be a cynic. Just look for some new favorites.

2)   As a care giver, I opened each new day by quoting the promise in Lamentations 3:22-23 (NKJV): "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." I'm happy to say my personal experience proved this to be true.

Share a Little Kindness

3)   Remember singing What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love? It sounds good,doesn't it? But how many of us put it into practice? Too many people write love off as being mushy and emotional. Not true! Read First Corinthians Chapter 13 for a practical definition. In this new year, let's show love by simply being kind to one another. It's a choice, not a feeling.

Consider these definitions of new: 1) Something that existed before but is now known or discovered for the first time, and 2) something uncontaminated, unspoiled or undecayed. In other words, it's still fresh.

I'm facing the new year with fresh hope as expressed in Psalm 33:22: May Your unfailing love rest upon (me), O Lord, even as (I) put (my) hope in You.

That hope can be yours, too. Best wishes for a happy NEW Year!

Community Christmas

COMMUNITY CHRISTMAS

Poinsettias are Christmas Beauties

I spent many years, along with my husband, rehearsing choir Christmas productions. They required a lot of energy and commitment from everyone involved.

My husband had many responsibilities besides music, so he just enjoyed our Christmas productions. I, on the other hand, always wanted to explore other events.

No matter where we lived, I pursued Community Christmas.

I’m still reveling in the events I’ve gotten to attend this year:  

·        *A Women’s Christmas Dinner with a pottery demonstration by the speaker

·          *Christmas Indoors and Out, hosted by a church from 4 to 9 p.m.

·          *Christmas Fantasia by a University’s Music Departments

·          *Combined Christmas by a choir, orchestra, bell choir and pipe organ

·          *An Irish Christmas Cantata

·          *A Christmas luncheon hosted by a member of my women’s Bible study group

What makes Christmas for you? 

This poem came from one of those events. May you have a blessed Christmas!

IF YOU LOOK FOR ME AT CHRISTMAS

(I was told it came from the internet, author unknown)

If you look for me at Christmas,

You won’t need a special star.

I’m no longer just in Bethlehem;

I’m right there where you are.

You may not be aware of Me

Amid the celebrations.

You’ll have to look beyond the stores

And all the decorations.

But if you take a moment

From your list of things to do,

And listen to your heart, you’ll find

I’m waiting there for you.

You’re the one I want to be with.

You’re the reason that I came,

And you’ll find Me in the stillness,

As I’m whispering your name.

Love, Jesus

A Choice in Time

A CHOICE IN TIME

December---Last Month of the Year

End-of-year holidays have arrived, ready or not. Perhaps you are thinking we just completed Thanksgiving---give me a break!

The calendar just keeps turning its pages and the holidays get closer and closer. It’s time to make some choices. Will this be a year of holiday blahs, or blessings?

I once attended a Christmas holiday workshop. The topic was How to Reduce Holiday Stress. I attended as a skeptic, but came away with some helpful ideas.

One main idea---it’s OK to share. That means, as adults, we must be willing to let others know we would like some help. That’s not always easy, for a couple of reasons: 1) You have always enjoyed doing it all, and 2) people have enjoyed letting you do it.

But it’s a change for the better---pursue it!

Every Family Has Their Own Traditions

Holidays put undue stress on family dynamics. Children may have grown up and moved away, or perhaps there’s a new child to celebrate. Newly married couples try to decide which in-laws get them for which holidays. A loved one may be seriously ill or in the hospital.

Life’s losses also create new challenges. A loved one may have died, or someone decided to divorce or separate. No matter how it comes, changes in life are inevitable. Anyone choosing not to be flexible only makes life harder for themselves.

Do you make Christmas, or does it make you? How many cultural traditions, family expectations or community events can you handle? How many gifts do you need to keep giving? How many favorites do you need to keep baking? How many ways can you simplify Christmas cheer?

From You to You

Christmas is a time of giving. God started it by giving His Son, a baby full of promise and hope for the world (John 3:16). The wise men also exemplified giving by honoring Jesus with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh (Matthew 2:11).

This choice in time is positive and personal. Just remember---while giving to others, gift some time to yourself.

Has There Always Been a Christmas?

HAS THERE ALWAYS BEEN A CHRISTMAS?

Sights and Sounds of Christmas

For several years I collected books about Christmas. I enjoyed learning about cultural traditions around the world and reading a variety of Christmas stories and folklore.

My favorite book is Stories Behind the Great Traditions of Christmas. On the cover the author is listed as Ace Collins, but I’ll give you the inside scoop. The publisher is Zondervan of Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the copyright date is 2003 by Andrew Collins.

The Introduction shares a short history of how Christmas came to be on December 25^th. That is followed by information on twenty-six Christmas traditions from Advent to Yule Logs.

I found many surprises. For example, in 320 A.D Pope Julius 1 declared December 25th to be celebrated as Christ Mass. Prior to that, churches celebrated Christ’s birth on any day they chose.

December 25th gained acceptance when Constantine The Great, a Roman Emperor, declared it the official day to celebrate the birth of Christ. He also declared Sunday as a holy day on the first day of a newly-created seven-day week.

Candles Add Christmas Cheer

Prior to this, almost every culture had festivals to celebrate the rebirth of the sun during the shortest days of the year. December was the month for these Mardi-Gras-like celebrations.

Have you ever wondered why We Wish You A Merry Christmas contains the line “oh, bring us some figgy pudding” and “we won’t go until we get some?” Commoners in England would go to palatial homes, stand outside and sing. The owners knew if they did not respond, the singers would riot and break in, taking what they wanted.

Even in America “The Lords of Disorder” took over the streets of New York in the early 1800’s. Germany was the first country to honor December 25th as the second most holy day in the year, after Easter.

When Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of Germany, he brought the reverent and German-oriented family traditions with him. English citizens started to copy the royal family, but Christmas as a holy day was still not established worldwide for many more years.

St. Nick Has Helpers

Two authors had a great influence on December 25^th traditions. In 1822, Clement Clarke Moore, minister and educator, wrote a poem for his children called “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” now known as The Night Before Christmas. Printed the next year in The New York Sentinel, it reshaped the holiday as one for children to enjoy.

In 1843, the already famous author, Charles Dickens, penned A Christmas Carol. Written during the Industrial Age, when men worked twelve hours six days a week and children were put to work for long hours at age eight or nine, it made people take another look at their values. It still does.

Celebrate The Holiday & Holy Day

In the next twenty to thirty years in America, states gradually declared December 25th a holiday. Moore’s poem started a commercial tradition, but churches also began to celebrate it as a holy day in honor of Christ’s birth.

Christmas has now become a season. It’s easy to become jaded by all the sights and sounds so many weeks before December 25^th. This year don’t just grit your teeth and wish it were over. I challenge you to be purposeful in your celebration of both the holiday and the holy day.  

Avoid the Fence of Offense

AVOID the FENCE of OFFENSE

Along with Settlements Came Fences

Have you heard the old western song Don’t Fence Me In? Being fenced in by others is one thing, but fencing ourselves in is a different story.

Offenses are solid fence-building materials. They are easily produced through words or actions.

What is an offense? It can be something that makes us feel hurt or angry, insulted or resentful. It causes us to want to retaliate, or even cut that person off from our relationship.

Since none of us are perfect, we will either give offense or take offense. Jesus said, “It is impossible that no offenses should come” (Luke 17:1, NKJV).

Barred Windows Separate People

Solomon pictured it this way: “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Proverbs 18:19, NKJV). Think of such bars as quarrelsome or unfriendly attitudes and you see how easily they separate people.

We have been forewarned that offenses will come, so how should we react when they do?

I’m not always aware of offending people. I do, however, seem aware of when people offend me. That’s when I ask myself, “Will I take offense at this?”

When, upon careful consideration, I choose to forgive or let it go, peace comes quickly.

I've Forgiven Forty-Six Times Already

I think Peter asked the next best question: “How often should I forgive one who sins against me? Seven times?”

Jesus didn’t let him off the hook that easily. He replied, “Not seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21-22, NKJV).

Seventy times seven equals four hundred ninety. In our computer age we might actually be able to keep track of such forgiveness, however, I do not see that self-centered action as a source of peace.

Fences have their place, but not in relationships. That’s why I remind myself not to build a fence of offense.

Count to Ten

COUNT TO TEN

We Are Born With Ten Fingers

Surprise! This is not about counting to ten to calm your temper. It has a much happier meaning.

I have a new reason for you to count your ten fingers. Of course, you can count your toes if you wish, but fingers are easier.

When I was fighting cancer in 2007, I discovered something that medical articles are acknowledging today: Being thankful is a positive part of being healthy.

When it comes to being thankful, no one can do it for you; it’s personal. But your example of being thankful can encourage others to do the same.

Thanksgiving Day comes once a year and is celebrated in many ways. For some it’s a big family holiday. Others look forward to a church or community dinner. Football games reign on TV. But many forget to give thanks of any kind.

Just Be Thankful--No List Needed

It’s really not hard to be thankful. You don’t have to think about it for hours. You don’t even have to make a list. Just sit calmly and count silently to ten, using your fingers to keep track.

Is there anything that makes you smile? Anything that brings you joy? A very special memory? Anyone you are thankful to have in your life? Any personal gift or talent you like to share with others?

When I was growing up, many churches had a service on Thanksgiving Day. In fact, I helped organize a few of them. But now days most people are left to give thanks on their own.

Sunrise and Sunset Show God's Faithfulness 

Old One Hundred, (Psalm 100) reminds us that it is important to give thanks to God. Even just one verse can turn our thoughts in the right direction: The LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations (Psalm 100:5, NKJV).

That’s three things out of ten. Keep on counting!

Be Glad We're Not Copies

BE GLAD WE’RE NOT COPIES

There Is No Variety Here

I know we’re physically the same. Regardless of color or culture, we all have five basic senses. We hear, see, taste, touch and smell.

In Infant and Preschool classes, I learned that our body is called a trunk. From it grow appendages like arms, legs and head. I’m glad we’re alike in those ways.

What intrigues me most is the differences in our personality traits. Some people call that temperaments. There was a time when I researched it. My favorite author, then and now, is Florence Littauer.

There Is A Lot Of Variety In These Tags

She wrote a book called *PERSONALITY PLUS, How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself. 

Humans have enough common characteristics to create four different temperament charts. Then Florence continues to explain how each temperament varies due to endless combinations of strengths and weaknesses. 

I’ve been reading the Book of John. Chapter twenty really intrigued me with its description of three people who came to check on Jesus’ tomb.

Sunrise Can Be Enjoyed By Early Risers

Early in the morning, Mary of Magdala arrived first. When she saw the open tomb, she was shocked. Her immediate reaction was to run and tell Peter and John.

When they heard her report, both men took off running. John outran Peter, but when he got to the tomb he only bent over and looked in.

Peter came running up and barged on in to see for himself what was there. John followed him in.

Matthew Henry, Bible commentator, noted that John could out-run Peter, but Peter out-dared John. Not only that, perhaps John motivated Peter to run faster, while Peter’s boldness gave John more courage.

I’m glad we’re not simply copies of one another. Our differences make life interesting. They even encourage us to grow and spread our wings.

Calmness Has A Beauty All Its Own

Yes, I know differences also cause anger and disagreements. But there’s a characteristic available to ALL temperaments: Self-Control.

If you have worked on developing that trait, I’m sure you've seen how it leads to tranquility.

*PERSONALITY PLUS, How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself, Florence Littauer, Fleming H. Revell, Grand Rapids, MI, 1992.

Other personalities material by Florence Littauer is available from CLASServices.com or www.thepersonalities.com 

What's Wrong With Boundaries?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH BOUNDARIES?

Some people dislike limitations of any kind, even the logistical variety. But boundaries have been in place ever since the Garden of Eden.

An Apple Simply Represents Temptation 

Adam and Eve had full run of the garden except for a verbal boundary. God said, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Genesis 2:16-17).   

Read the third chapter of Genesis and you’ll see that Eve fell for a lie and ate from the tree. Adam allowed himself to be drawn in, too.

Since verbal boundaries were not enough, God set up a visible boundary.

First, Adam and Eve were banished from the garden. Then God placed cherubim and a flaming sword that flashed back and forth at the entrance (Genesis 3:24). That would be hard to miss.

Fences Illustrate Boundaries

An old western song says, “Don’t fence me in.” Personal boundaries can keep people both in and out. Lack of boundaries can cause people to become exhausted, and even resentful, of the very people they want to help.

As a caregiver for both my husband and father, hospice urged me to be sure to care for myself. It was up to me to make time to get out for a walk or run errands. When I explained what I needed, both my husband and father supported my decisions.

A wise, but anonymous, person said, “Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.”

Henry Cloud, author of a well-known book on BOUNDARIES, said, “You get what you tolerate.”

Think about it.

Unless we set meaningful boundaries, our life will simply keep flowing away. Instead of a spring of living water, we will become a dry well.

So, what’s wrong with boundaries?

Nothing. They are a necessary part of healthy living.                      

Friendship Factors

FRIENDSHIP FACTORS

Friendship Is World-Wide

You've probably heard that "a friend is a present you give yourself." I think that's true, as far as it goes. But a one-sided friendship wears down and fades away after while.

Amos 3:3 asks a good question: Do two walk together, except they make an appointment and have agreed? (Amplified Version)

True friendship is a two-sided connection. While you are being a friend to have a friend, they are doing the same thing in reverse. Long-lasting friendship is the giving and receiving kind.

Friends Enjoy Life Together

Let's consider some positive friendship factors:

1) A friend knows your faults, but chooses to like you anyway.

2) They encourage your dreams and listen to your problems.

3) A friend catches your humor, and you catch theirs.

4) You share mutual interests in hobbies, entertainment, and spiritual things.

5) Your friendship communication is strong both in person and by other means.

6) When traveling together you make allowances for each other's peculiarities.
7) Each of you are free to share ideas when making plans.

8) Disagreements are worked out, not left to fester.

Healthy friendships allow for differences. Take food, for example. Dietary needs for one will be accommodated by the other. Why? The value is in the friendship, not the food.

A true friend is generous with your time as well as theirs. They are not possessive. They understand when you don't have time for them due to work or family responsibilities. 

They are willing to wait until you can connect again. Their friendship door always says, "Open."

Be Alert for Chocolate Chips

I smiled when I saw this coffee cup slogan: Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life. My sentiment, exactly.

Paying attention to friendship factors enriches our lives: 1) We can sweeten someone else's life, and 2) they can sweeten ours.

How to be a Winning Listener

HOW to be a WINNING LISTENER

Hearing is Sounds in the Ear

Believe it or not, hearing and listening are two different things. Hearing is a basic physiological response. Sounds waves stimulate auditory nerves in your ear and you perceive sounds.

Listening requires more from you. While hearing sounds you make a conscious effort to get meaning from them.

When I think of hearing, I think of the popular Verizon commercial with the man moving around while saying, “Can you hear me now?”

Ducks Hear, Too

Our family used to kid Dad a lot about being deaf. When we would say something, he would often say, “What?” We would repeat it only to find out he had heard us; he just hadn’t listened for the message.

Igor Stravinsky, Russian composer of the Rite of Spring, said, “To listen is an effort . . . just to hear is no merit. A duck hears, also.”

So, let’s think about this.

People enjoy talking to someone who is really engaged with what they are hearing. Some would refer to them as “active listeners.” They might exhibit traits such as these:

1)  They listen carefully and speak in a meaningful moment. Proverbs 18:13 (NLT) says, “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.”

2)  They listen for the meaning behind the words. This is why therapists often give feed back and ask if they have heard correctly.

3)  They accept the speaker’s emotions, concerns, or experiences. Though they may not agree or fully understand, they allow the speaker to be real.

4)  They ask open-ended questions to draw out further understanding. Questions answered with a simple yes or no may not be enough.

5)  They ask permission to share a possible solution. It is a privilege to speak into someone’s life and unwanted advice is rarely heeded.

Be a Winning Listener

It’s not always easy to be an active listener. Sometimes we might become angry. Or because of hurt feelings, we would love to lash out or argue our position.  

If so, give yourself a reality check. No one is able to go through life without ever being misunderstood. Pressured as you may feel, try to remain calm.

The Apostle James had three words of advice: 1) be quick to listen, 2) be slow to speak, and 3) be slow to get angry (James 1:19, (NLT). 

Winning listeners learn how to do all three.