An Everyday Promise

Life! What’s age got to do with it? Some people say, “Nothing.” Others say, “Everything.”

I tend to hang around the first group. Why? Because they’re the people who still want to engage with life---reading, thinking, questioning, being friendly, active, and outgoing.

In my mid-fifties, I was invited to head up a ministry for seniors aged sixty and up. At first, I felt very inadequate, but I found them to be very supportive

We enjoyed Sunday Bible class together, a once-a-month potluck with special entertainment, and outings now and then.   

These seniors were wonderful mentors. The majority were glad to have a group for their age, and new friendships were formed. But it wasn’t hard to understand those who said, “People aren’t friendly.” They were the ones who rarely came to the potlucks, and their response to Bible class was to come late and leave early.

The Bible is so true when it says if you want friends, you must show yourself friendly (Proverbs 18:24). Following that advice, I have made a very good friend this past year just by inviting her to lunch after weeks of noticing her sitting alone in church while I sat alone, too.

Perhaps I value friendship now because for 4 ½ years personal contacts were diminished. As a caregiver for my father, then my husband, I was rarely able to leave home, but the telephone was a refreshing option.

As life continues, I’ve been surprised at the number of friends who have called me because they are now caregivers. One of the ways I encourage them is to share some verses that kept me going.  

Every morning when I first awakened, I would say, “Thank you, Lord, for this new day and your new mercies. I’m counting on them” (Lamentations 3:22-25 (NIV). Take time to read it for yourself.

Those verses are still my everyday promise. That’s why I say, “Life! What’s age got to do with it?” 

Yes, I’m older, but I’m still me, and with God’s help I intend to keep on truckin’!

  

Opinions and Criticisms

We live in a strange world today. It seems filled with what could be considered malicious opinions and criticisms. There may be other terms for this phenomenon, but people seem determined to tear each other down rather than build up.

Social media makes it easy to hit and run. You are a faceless entity to a majority of readers, and you don’t even have to use your real name if you don’t want to.

Certain character traits produce negative communication. People full of bitterness, anger, a fighting spirit, or slanderous thoughts find it nearly impossible to say or write something positive. Ephesians 4:31 speaks clearly to these traits---get rid of them!

Ephesians 4:29 NIV gives three guidelines for positive communication:

Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth (or in print)

Speak (or write) only what is helpful to build others up according to their needs

Your words should benefit those who listen (or read) 

These guidelines are easy to grasp. But people aren’t looking for Godly guidelines. Why bother when our society declares we can each decide our own truth?

Here’s a daily scenario: Someone reads something someone has written. They may have never written an article, but that doesn’t mean they can’t give their opinion. Opinions and criticisms float around like bubbles without substance.

It’s easy to be an armchair critic. Such opinions lack respect for the amount of work it takes to be a writer, the skill to be a baseball player, the education to be a lawyer, or the self-discipline to run a business.

It’s a wanton disregard and lack of appreciation for the rights or accomplishments of others.

It’s happening so much now that people are getting tired of it. Many are realizing it’s useless to fight back. The best thing is to let it go. Why? Because people bent on tearing others down will not accept correction.

After all, it’s only your truth, not theirs.

 

Up With Encouragers

That’s a play on words, of course. Encouragers lift us up, and we need many more such people in our world.

Have you ever heard of a man named Barnabas? No, not from a TV sitcom, from a story about the first Christians. It seems a man moved from the island of Cyprus to Jerusalem and became active in the early Christian church.

The Apostles called him Barnabas, which means Son of Encouragement (Acts 4:36 NKJV). This was no fly-by-night act to win favor. You can read about his further encouragement of believers in Acts 11:19-26.

I’m always intrigued by words. I’m thinking “encourage” would imply “in-courage.” I’ll have to look it up sometime. I know the Bible tells us to encourage one another and build one another up. In our time; however, we are more familiar with “enforcers,” and the contrast is not hard to see.

Everyone thinks his opinion is the most important, and instead of encouraging one another, our world has become ridden with “cancel culture.” It’s really a cancer in our culture because it’s killing people’s communication and relationships big time!

To encourage someone is to give positive support or raise their spirits. Encouraged people have a new sense of hope, and become enlivened to pursue something they felt insecure about earlier.

Encouragement can come packaged big or small. Have you ever noticed the uplifting power of a smile? Rich or poor, sometimes the little things make our day.

When I can, I like to encourage with words and a smile. After lunch at a popular place, I went to use the restroom. A mom came in with her little girl, age 4 or 5. The little girl went into the stall, and when she came out, she was going to walk out when Mom said, “You need to wash your hands.”

On my way out, I smiled and said, “You’re doing a good job, Mom.” She gave me a big smile back.

This is a hurting world. Practice your own kinds of encouragement, but remember . . . it’s not your thoughts that count, but your words and your actions!

  

Friends and Family

I come from a small family of 3 siblings. We don’t live near each other, but we keep in touch. That’s the nice thing about our modern age.

When I was a caregiver for my father, the brother closest to me would drive a couple of hours to give me a day off. That was so much appreciated. If you have a family caregiver, please be aware they need a break now and then.

Making new friends as we grow older may seem challenging, but it’s worth the effort. At one point we ministered in a church that had a large influx of winter visitors. The thing I admired about them was their desire to be active and make new friends.

Our church flourished as these people were willing to take responsibility and leadership for many activities. They set a great example for those of us following in their footsteps.

Now that I’m retired, I’ve had more time to contemplate the value of family and friends. Proverbs 27:10 (NKJV) makes 3 points regarding these 2 groups: (1) Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, (2) Nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity, and (3) Better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.    

I value my friends. I would not want to forsake them, but my father and his friends are long gone. As for going to my brother’s house on a day of calamity, I think that sounds like a disaster that would probably preclude a long drive.

I live in a neighborhood where people watch out for one another, but besides that, I have made friends in my church and community. Add these to the friends I keep in touch with from past locations, and I am greatly blessed.

Family is a given, but how are you doing in the Friends Department? Here’s a secret . . . make the first move . . . don’t wait for them to do it.